Monday, March 24, 2008

Spotting

Thanks everyone! My self diagnosis of bed rest worked, who needs dr’s? :). Actually, by Saturday afternoon I didn’t have any spotting at all, I think I just had a slight breakdown that morning. I wonder how DH not only puts up with me, but how he hasn’t committed me into the mental ward yet! I think now how I reacted on Saturday and it was slightly C R A Z Y!!!! I think IF I didn’t go through 4 losses and had to go through IVF for this pregnancy, maybe I wouldn’t be so scared over every little thing. I think it takes away from just feeling “happy” with no fear.

I wonder if the fear will ever go away or will I be this way the whole 9 months? I wonder when I became the glass half empty kind of person rather than the glass half full… I never used to be this way. I guess I am used to disappointment, and I’m waiting for it everyday. It’s strange to explain, I’m really not saying I look forward to disappointment, I guess I just feel like preparing myself or getting ready for it and never believing things can be right. So, the spotting led me to freak out and check for all other pregnancy symptoms, and of course they were all “gone” in my mind, is just the way I’m always going to be…

5 comments:

Newt said...

I'm thrilled the spotting stopped. I know exactly what you mean about expecting the worst, but I hope the best sneaks up on you while you're busy with that. Take good care.

Debby said...

Does the fear ever go away? Well...I wish I could say it disappears....but for me, what I've found, is that as I passed each milestone (end of 1st trimester, 1/2 way point, start of 3rd trimester) the fear has been outweighed by the optimism. Yes...there are still moments of panic, but overwhelmingly so the thoughts are nothing but postive. I hope you get to some milestones soon that start to put your mind at ease!

Maria said...

I'm so glad the spotting stopped.

IF really takes away are happy easy going carefree pregnancies. After everything we go through to get pregnant, it's understandable that we're stressed and worried.

Duck said...

Glad to hear that your feeling better!

~Carrie said...

So glad the spotting went away and everything is still going ok! I agree with Maria - IF does take away some of the carefree aspects of pregnancy. Plus, we tend to see unfortunate things happen to others in the IF community - this only makes you more aware of what can happen at any stage. I try not to worry (it's hard) because I keep telling myself that the worry won't help anything. However, I also want to be prepared in case something happens... some might say that even thinking about trying to be prepared for bad news is being too negative, but I think anyone who has gone through IF would understand.